A man stick up his middle finger as this minivan is photographed in June 2014 with the conductor standing. (Photo: Robertson S. Henry)

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Please permit me space to applaud the talents of our Vincentian bus conductors. Although their occupation is often belittled and reduce to a mere door slider, a fair observer would recognise that being a good conductor is an art. I would like to submit that Vincy ‘ductors are the best. Vincy ‘ductors know our expansive and shrinkage capacity, exemplified by their piercing commands to “small up yoself” or the heads shouting through windows of moving contraptions we know as vans, “room for two”. The same vans licensed to carry 14 passengers elsewhere, can comfortably carry 18 here. Furthermore, a very skilled conductor can augment a van’s carrying capacity by as much as 33 per cent.

The unique instinct on Vincy conductors must never be ignored. One can only be amazed when the driver, at times the owner or boss, is instructed to “turn back ya” or “shove off, we go catch two up the road”. These gentlemen instinctively understand the mood of customers. For the benefit of passengers, they also know which customers to refuse. You would occasionally hear, “Don’t pick he up, he does chat too much” or “Pass dat parrot dey”. There is also the “Don’t pick she up. She too lazy. She nar war walk up; always war we drop um ah e gate.”

How can I forget, also, the command to “buss a second”, as the driver is implored to reorient to the appropriate gear for the conditions. Might I add, most of these ‘ductors do not posses a driver’s license. Their only experience with driving, merely exceed the occasional fowl or stray dogs that encroach their surroundings. Notwithstanding, they know when a second gear or a third gear is needed.

The job also has its perks, if one is driven by promiscuity. My Vincy ‘ductors make ’nuff’ big men bawl. My boys get blame for many instances of infidelity. Not that I’m condoning this alleged behaviour, but at the same time, who can blame them? Moreover, the guys are often the recipients of numerous grants from generous queens of the aristocracy, while contemporaries wax cold in envy. So I just want to say, “Tek alyo mouth off my Vincy conductors. They are a special bunch.

Peace and Love

Trel

The views expressed herein are those of the writer and do not necessarily represent the opinions or editorial position of iWitness News. Opinion pieces can be submitted to [email protected].

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