By Eddy Smith
Lately, I have been making a concerted effort to avoid looking at status updates. One of the many benefits of developing self-awareness, is that I am cognisant of the impact a lot of the content I view has on my psychological well-being. This realisation has led me to reevaluate my online habits and the type of content I consume daily.
While it seems crystal clear that we will be conjoined at the hip (or the thumbs) with social media platforms for the foreseeable future, it’s important to acknowledge their dual nature. On one hand, they connect us with friends and family, keep us informed, and can inspire and motivate us. On the other hand, they can be sources of negativity, selfish comparisons, and unnecessary stress. I’ve noticed that much of the content shared on platforms like WhatsApp often revolves around drama, conflict, or subtle jabs at others—content that, more often than not, contributes little to my personal growth or happiness.
There’s no better way to bring this across than to highlight the unhealthy obsession many of us seem to have with “haters” or content that casts aspersions on those we consider to be against us. This fixation is not just unproductive; it is damaging. It fosters a negative mindset, where we are constantly on the lookout for slights and offences, real or imagined. It creates an environment where we are more focused on defending ourselves against perceived enemies rather than celebrating our achievements and pursuing our goals.
I know that to some this may come off as a rant. However, I believe it is a necessary conversation.
We need to be more mindful of the content we consume and the influences we allow into our hearts. Instead of getting caught up in discord and conflict, let’s focus on embracing those who provide support, thoughtful advice, and genuine connections. By doing so, we safeguard our mental well-being and cultivate a healthier, more supportive environment.
I hope to persuade you to adopt a richer, more uplifting perspective.
There is a striking contrast that I want to remind the reader about, which we often tend to overlook. It’s evident that many of us are obsessed with hurt and distress, but this may not represent the actual reality. We get so caught up in the drama that we fail to see the bigger picture. The loud, often toxic voices seem to drown out everything else, leading us to believe that conflict and animosity dominate reality.
But if we take a moment to step back and reflect, we might recognise the many people in our lives who are actually rooting for us. This group may not always be the loudest in the room, but they are always wishing us the best. They celebrate our successes, offer support during our failures, and provide a steady source of positivity. These individuals are genuinely happy when we win, even if their support doesn’t always come with fanfare.
When did they become the boring bunch that we seldom ever recognise? It’s their prayers, their admonitions, and their support that have the power to help us not only prosper but thrive. They are the silent pillars that uphold us, even when we are unaware of their influence. Yet, because their contributions are subtle and often understated, we overlook them in favour of the more dramatic and emotionally charged interactions that social media amplifies.
Furthermore, some of our genuine supporters may come across as critical. Let’s face it, many of us are not great at communication. This lack of finesse in expressing our support can lead to misunderstandings. Just because someone’s words might sting a bit doesn’t mean they don’t like us. It may simply be that they don’t know how to express themselves in a way we would be willing to listen. Their intent is often to help us grow, to correct us when we are wrong, and to push us towards our potential, even if their delivery is not always perfect.
People who say things like “haters are my motivators” or “I love my haters” might be missing the point. Are you suggesting that you don’t care about the people who genuinely love and support you? What if your so-called “haters” stopped hating –would you still find the drive to succeed? It seems counterproductive to provoke them. Why has proving people wrong become such an obsession?
Living your life confidently is one thing, but boasting about people hating or being jealous of you is another. It’s excessive and unhealthy. Not everyone will like you –that’s a fact of life. Move on from it. Jealousy and competition exist, but they don’t define everyone. Also, at what point does legitimate criticism get mislabelled as “hating”? Sometimes, people call others “haters” just because they don’t want to hear the truth about themselves.
If after this rhetoric you’re still not convinced, I hope this quote from Theodore Roosevelt’s “Citizenship in a Republic” hits home…
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
And if the eloquence of this Teddy Roosevelt quote still doesn’t move you to change, I hope the words of many a Vincy young man will: “Do you! Nah study nothing.”
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Very unique and uplifting